
پیشرو در داستان
توصیف یکی از آن فوتهای کوزهگری است که متن را بطور ملموستری برای خواننده تعریف میکند.
قبل از هر چیزی بیایید تا معنی کلمه توصیف را بخوانیم.
توصیف در لغتنامه دهخدا:
1- نیک صفت کردن 2- وصف و بیان حال 3- وصف کردن 4- نشانی دادن 5- نشان گفتن 6- پیرایه گفتن 7- ستودن 8- ستایش
توصیف در فرهنگ فارسی معین:
1 – وصف کردن . 2 – ستودن .
.
و حالا بیایید تعریف توصیف را از وبلاگ ساده نویسی بخوانید:
توصیف خوب فقط ردیف کردن صفت و موصوف نیست. توصیف در واقع جزئی نگری همراه با عینیت گرایی است.
.
با این تعاریف یکم به مفهوم توصیف نزدیک شدیم.
اما بیایید این مفهوم را کامل کنیم.
توصیف، خلق یک صحنه با استفاده از زبانبازی است.
درواقع ما با استفاده از حواس پنجگانه (یا حتی شش گانه) و با استفاده از کلمات، یک موقعیت، فضا و یا شخصیت را توصیف میکنیم.
مثلا بیایید به مثال زیر از رسوال پرویزی نگاهی بیندازیم:
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خارج از اینکه در این بخش به تشبیه هم پرداخته شده _که بعدا مفصلتر راجع بهش حرف میزنم_ توصیف آن فضا با استفاده از حواس به خوبی بیان شده.
.
در یک متن میشود سادهنویسی کرد (که مانعی هم ندارد) اما قضیه این است که توصیف در متنهای ساده نیز باید وجود داشته باشد تا موقعیت را بهتر به خواننده بشناساند. اصلا بنظر من یک متن، بدون توصیف پیش نمیرود.
مثلا برگردیم به متن رسول پرویزی. فرض کنید که این پاراگراف اینجوری پیش میرفت:
روزهای آخر تابستان بود. هوای دشت گرم و مهآلود و خفه بود. هنوز هوا روشن بود و اشعه خورشید مثل سوزن طلائی بچشم مینشست.
اینجا ما حس و حال دقیقی از هوای گرم و مهآلود و خفه دشت نداریم؛ پس باقی جملهها روی کار میآیند تا هوا را دقیقتر حس کنیم.
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دیگر زیاده گویی بس است. کمی از مثالهای زیر بخوانید تا توصیف را بهتر درک کنید:
کشیش چنگال را با انگشت اشاره و شستش بلند کرد و با حرکتی بسار ظریف که انگار جک اِستِراوز بازی میکند، یکی از ورقههای ژانبون را زیرورو کرد. کتاب دختر کشیش / نوشته جورج اورول / ترجمه نفیسه توکلی / انتشارات نیک فرجام
متیو زیر لب غرغر کرد و در حالی که با بیمیلی پاهایش را روی زمین میکشید به طرف دخترک رفت. کتاب آنشرلی / نوشته ال ام مونتگمری / ترجمه الناز بخشی / انتشارات داریوش (برای این کتاب انتشارات داریوش پیشنهاد نمیشود)
آنقدر از پیدا شدن ویدیو خوشحالم که چند ثانیه طول میکشد تا بفهمم چه مدرک مهمی توی دستم هست. کتاب بیهوشی / نوشته گُردِن کُرمن / ترجمه نیلوفر امنزاده / نشر پرتقال
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